What happened to "you should have more faith in me"? I guess, the same thing that happened to all the other things you said. You never believed in them, why you asked me to believe? Why you made me feel guilty that I doubted in you? Now it seems I was right back then... But it doesn't matter now anyway, I believed (in) you. And now you ask me to forget?! ok. I am not going to promise anything, because promises... they don't mean anything to me. I even never liked that word - promise... People who give promises obviously don't have anything else to give. And people who need them... well, they are just desperate. So I am just going to live... and see what happens. I suggest you find whatever is screwing up your head and fix it, because I don't know how the fuck you are going to live with yourself. And don't wait others to make choices for you, to make steps and walk instead of you. You are not a cripple. Or are you...?
I don't know if I am capable of not missing people. I just do... I miss them. Some days more, some days - less. Nothing has changed, but things feel different. 2,780 km is everything that's between us. Some days I don't feel the distance and it's like they are with me. We talk, we laugh. And I actually forget they are not one floor above or under me. And I almost go and knock on their doors... Then I realize I am not on the 4th floor. I am not even somewhere in that flat and empty place that has no sun at all. I am supposed to be home. But they say Home is where your heart is... so where am I? I guess I am 2,780 km away from home. And I finally feel homesick...